Life is tough, Tougher if your stupid

Reading the News this afternoon and couldn't resist reposting some stories. Man, What a bunch of rocket scientist.

CHESTERFIELD TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- A man who police say tried to pass a counterfeit check at a Wal-Mart chose the wrong store at the wrong time. Dozens of officers were at the suburban Detroit store Tuesday helping needy children pick out items as part of an annual "Shop with a Cop" charity event.
That didn't stop Calvin E. Fluckes Jr., 21, from pulling into the parking lot next to 40 marked squad cars, police said. He apparently was unfazed by the police presence as he tried to pay for merchandise with a poorly photocopied check for $847.83.
The cashier called over a manager, who alerted one of the 80 officers who happened to be in the store.
"He was immediately apprehended," Chesterfield Township police Lt. David Marker told the Detroit Free Press. "I can't even imagine what he was thinking."
Fluckes was arraigned Wednesday on one count of uttering and publishing. He was being held in the Macomb County Jail on $2,000 bail.
He could face up to 14 years in prison if convicted, The Detroit News reported.

NASHVILLE, Tenn. -- An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.
The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."
The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.

Edit-
Found another one, at least this brillant citizen is now in a place where he can truly work on his right and wrongs.

TACOMA, Wash. -- The driver of a stolen van who was killed while fleeing police on Interstate 5 in south Tacoma had been released from prison just yesterday.
Lakewood Police Lieutenant Dave Guttu says the 48-year-old Pierce County man had a long record of drug, property, robbery, theft and assault charges. He had been at the Airway Heights prison since 1997.
Guttu says the man stole the van from a Tacoma auto body shop about four this morning and had offered to sell drugs to a man at a gas station, then sideswiped his car. Police ware investigating a separate hit-and-run when the man from the gas station pointed them at the van.
It fled on I-5 but the chase lasted only a minute.
Guttu says the van fishtailed out of control and into the median barrier. The driver was thrown out the side window where his head hit a light standard. The impact pulled his body out of the van which continued about 100 yards down the freeway.
The crash blocked the northbound lanes of I-5 at south Tacoma through the morning commute, with traffic backing up three miles.