While waiting for your wife at Wal-Mart

1. Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell them in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares!" ..... and watched what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and invite shoppers in if they will bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asked if they could help you, throw yourself down on the floor,and began to cry and wail, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

11.Dart around the store, looking around suspiciously while loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yell, "PICK ME! — PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

14. Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while; then yell very loudly, "Hey, Somebody! I need some toilet paper in here!"